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by Pend Oreille

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about

this is an album i spent about a year and a half making while in sixth form (more or less concurrently with the “grapefruit” lp, so like … end of 2013-spring 2015). i wanted to make an “electronic songs” record, and it ended up becoming this semi-concept album about a deluded, frustrated secondary school boy and his obsessions w ufos. not fully autobiographical, for the record; if you want songs about how i feel about such things, there’s no shortage of em on other records. having said that, there are definitely some songs that are coming from a genuine, personal place. i'm proud of it for all of its flaws, its inarticulate babble and embarrassments. anyway, there’s more info on the separate track pages plus all the lyrics and some sample info for those interested -kiran [20/2/17]

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released April 15, 2015

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tags: pop Manchester

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Kiran Leonard Manchester, UK

from saddleworth, uk ; songs writes pruelewarne.tumblr.com

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Track Name: Al Crosse
al crosse is a funny one:
“we’re quite concerned about your son”;
(it is claimed at parents' evenings
nobody wants to speak to him)
in the middle of the night, he calls up
girls at his school he tracks down in the phonebook,
recounts to peers that he half-knows
hallucinations of ufos

he says: “baby, i swear they took me!
forced me to answer questions i didn’t understand
and i looked up: it was that guy from tv,
jim lange, and at the wheel, a little green man"

he isn’t funny he’s not too smart
he’s not well, but he’s good at heart,
and al stands in his waiting line
plays the dating game within his mind
Track Name: Waiting Line
SOMETIMES I FEEL LIKE IM IN A WAITING LINE—
skin cracked at the heel
tediously squandering my time
i was told there was a ball of string
unravelling in my stomach*
i was told that i was missing
a ladder that does not exist

but still they ask me what’s it like
what do i do? i wait;
i lie upright in state
and restrain my self-restraint
controlled, put on hold

we were alone in early evening:
she heeded my charisma her
hair was a melisma spiralling
down; the image
possessed me (the rain outside did
not bother or depress me)… yet
how could it be
that i found static
to crescendo in my brain, to
lead me to become
erratic

(slight curve of the lips, a
smile appears; the peace of
the moment left a hum in my ears;
for a re-run
i will wait
cause i am too weak to move
too dumb to speak)

i don’t know if i can continue w/o
movement or conversation;
i stand up straight sometimes i rest my eyes
whilst waiting for something to be realised
technically i put myself in limbo
(it doesn’t mean shit 2 me)
cause
there’s
always something;
there’s always somebody else to blame
but it’s not me it’s
not my fault it’s
not me it’s not me it’s no
t me it’s not me

WHAT FORCE IS DOING THIS TO ME?
WHAT FORCE IS DOING THIS TO ME?
BELIEVE THAT I CAN’T, HOPE I CAN
THINK I CAN CANNOT
OVER THE EDGE; MAYBE THERE I’LL
FIND THAT SOMETHING
THAT KEEPS MY HEART LOCKED UP
AND I WILL BEGIN TO UNDERSTAND

**

stop a minute-
is it wrong to say i’ve had enough
of this?
and would it kill you to get sentimental?
i’m at liberty to express this (i think)
and i don’t believe that that’s all to you
what are you thinking?
is something wrong?
are you hiding something?
let me in; open up to me

--

*after kafka
Track Name: Living With Your Ailments
i could not believe my luck, i cannot believe it still
there is a happiness w/o meaning
i don’t have to take my life for ontology
i can just be mortal, godless and free

fates are in vein, leaps are feeble
i embrace the open minded and play sports
i wrestled in solitude for no reason
but one must imagine me happy
Track Name: Middleman
i am the middleman
no perks in low demand
i give gifts in interim
i hold secrets under my skin

don’t demean me
and don’t follow me
i’m sitting water
in the tornado humdrum

i used to see all kinds of things
and you don’t know it
makes me sick inside
like something great is missing

please don’t get me wrong
it’s just sometimes i feel like
giving up
Track Name: Consequences of Whaling
i’m trapped in the desert
where i built this concrete garden,
no foreseeable escape;
i send my wages to manila
(i can only think about him…)

**

you don’t really know anything
you think that you know loss
howling over your sweetheart like
your limbs are nailed to a cross

phases precede phases
your adolescent moaning
fourteen hour days i won’t resort to trembling
how’s about context, you don’t need to fix a thing

“with my headlight,
with the weight of being
pushing my head to the chopping block…”
JUST ACCEPT THAT IT’S A TEST
&these feelings will pass for you,
you’ll be rid of them eventually, so
spare a thought for me as you fantasise
about dropping out &brewing coffee
&glib, privileged infancy
PEOPLE JUST DON’T KNOW
people just don’t see past the veil
of derogatory pondering but
how’s about context:
do you need to consider it
to feel happier?

"oh what an unholy mess
that i made for the two of us;
every word has its consequence
if i’d known, i would have been different"

**

[al]:

i reject everything
i sit at this table
i cannot move, i cannot speak
and infrared chases me;
i hold up my glass head,
feel like i’ve been petrified-
my mind’s going out the door again,
thinking w/o cohesion

it hides me from my friends
swallows me to selfish ends
but still i can’t help but contemplate
how is it supposed to make me feel?
Track Name: We Have Vanished
i will forfeit an iota,
that though i triumphed, i’m a liar
how is this indistinct?
we vanished

she has hair just like raquel*
and i mean it but i’m heartbroken
i swear she couldn’t tell
but i reject to let the brain open up

i recall windermere
and the silhouettes of july
before we disappeared
before you stole me for the last time

how can it be this indistinct?
we vanished

*this is teenage me making a pretty embarrassing reference to the first tyler the creator album (still love it though!)